Old Gratitude and New Chances

“Sir Kyrielight, do you happen to have a moment?”

You know, perhaps the most jarring thing to Mash is the form of address; Mash she’s used to, as well as variations of young miss, young lady, little girl, but Sir? That’s something she’s come to associate with the knights of the round, aka to much deeper voices. Having someone like queen Morgan refer to her as such is a very odd experience.

(Yes, Mash is trying to ignore everything else by focusing on the title Morgan uses for her. So what.)

“Ah- yes, sure!” Mash gestures for the woman to come into her room, setting down her book. “What can I do for you?”

Morgan steps in. She doesn’t get far, though. She closes the door behind her, then leans against it. “I wanted to thank you.”

“... What for?” Mash frowns, thinks as hard as she can. She doesn’t… think she’s done anything worthy of thanks recently? And certainly not for Morgan. She’s been- well, interactions have been a bit awkward, so Mash had been avoiding her, to be frank. 

Oh, wait, is it sarcastic? Is Morgan about to call her out for ostracizing her? Mash genuinely can’t tell. Morgan is staring at her with a blank face. Mash can’t tell what she’s thinking. Though to be fair, she had a hard time reading Tonelico back then too. This girl was never one to seek to be understood.

“I have been reading the records of my Britain, as of late.” Oh… the reports on the sixth lostbelt? She didn’t know director Goredolf let her- ah, wait, Morgan hacked her way in didn’t she. That would make more sense. “It has been enlightening. On many aspects. But I couldn’t help but notice a few inconsistencies, which got me thinking.”

For a second, it feels like Mash’s blood no longer flows.

“Thank you,” Morgan continues, without a hint of emotion, “for being Tonelico’s knight. Thank you for being there when this girl needed it. Thank you, fairy knight Galahad.”

Mash’s cheeks are wet. It’s become harder to breathe. Belatedly, she realizes she’s crying.

Morgan nods. “That is all.” She turns around, hand reaching for the handle-

“Wait!” Mash latches herself at her, grasping her sleeve with everything she has. “I could be yours too.”

Morgan turns back to look at her. It’s hard to tell, but- Mash thinks she is taken aback. “My what?”

“Your knight. Your friend.” Mash’s fingers clench around the fabric. “I don’t want us to stop here. I want to try again. Now that we stand on the same side. I want to try again. Please, let us try again.”

The corner of Morgan’s mouth falls, ever so slightly. There is profound sadness in her eyes. “I am no longer that girl, Mash.”

Aren’t you, Mash wants to scream, Aren’t you? I knew a girl who claimed to be a witch despite caring so much it made her heart bleed. Was that not you? I knew a girl who smiled to everyone despite holding bitterness underneath her tongue. Was that not you? I knew a girl who loathed the thought of being unfair so deeply that she saved my life even when she knew I would only come back to kill her in the future. Is that not you? You just called me Mash. You called me Mash. You called me Mash. You forgot decorum and titles and etiquette and called me Mash. Doesn’t that mean anything?

“So what?” Is what she chooses to say. “Even if this girl is gone, do you think me incapable to care for the woman who grew in her stead? Can I not want to befriend you for its own sake?”

I loved you, I loved you, I loved you! She wants to say, scream, sing until her lungs go hoarse. I could love you again. I know it. I know it. I could love you again, if you give us a chance, I could love you again, if you just let me try. The thought of letting this woman slip away once more- it’s unbearable, it’s so painful Mash feels like she’s going to die. If she lets Morgan go now, if she closes this chapter of her life for good- Mash knows she will never forgive herself.

“I got to know Tonelico by accident.” Mash wraps both hands around Morgan’s own, and wills her voice not to break. “Let me know you on purpose, Morgan.”